Death is but a whisper of love
by DarknessHitsMe
Summary: The man looked at her curiously and then it looked like he was sniffing the air. She would have scoffed because the man reminded her of a dog sniffing for food but then his eyes locked on hers again and she became speechless. So many emotions were swirling in those beautiful eyes. A hurricane in blue. Then he smirked and everything changed.


_**Death is but a whisper of love**_

_Love and death are the two great hinges on which all human sympathies turn._

–

Life used to be so much easier.

Everything used to come her way and she never had to lift a single finger to get anything done. But she was a child back then, careless and reckless full of rebellious behavior. And she had been always protected.

It didn't matter what she did, people would always look to her as this innocent soldier who never fought a battle in her life. By being smothered all the time she wasn't prepared for the pain and heartbreak that life could cause you. So when the first heartbreak came she was left in a million pieces and she thought she could never love again.

But then she met _him_. He was pure and selfless and in his brilliant blue eyes shone so much emotion. It was like a wild hurricane, that swirl of emotions. That was what made her notice him in the first place. It had been a rainy day and she had forgotten to bring an umbrella so she was soaked to the bone and her clothes clung to her like a second skin. The reason she didn't go running for shelter was because she actually _liked_ rain. She always found pleasure in feeling of the cold drops hitting her bare skin and making a way down to finally collide with the earth again. Rain was always home, even when it was not. A stranger laying on the road was something she didn't expect to see on her daily route home. She should maybe have felt fear but she didn't. She never had, even not when she was staring death literally in the face. So she didn't felt any fear that day and just made her way over to the stranger. It was a man. His legs and arms where spread out on the road and his eyes were closed. Water drops shined on his lashes and his messy raven black hair clung to his face. The leather jacket he was wearing was as black as the night itself.

She knew a trick when she saw one and this was definitely one of them. With a calm but determent expression she towered over him. 'That doesn't look comfortable.' Her voice rang in to the night but you almost couldn't hear it because of the whooshing of the wind and the raindrops hitting the pavement. But he did. His eyes snapped open and she was met with the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen. Her mouth gaped open slightly and she took a stumbling step back. The man flashed up in an instant and his face was merely inches from hers. Calming herself she looked in to those blue eyes again and she regained her settings. An amused eyebrow shot up on her face but she didn't move away. She couldn't. The man looked at her curiously and then it looked like he was sniffing the air. She would have scoffed because the man reminded her of a dog sniffing for food but then his eyes locked on hers again and she became speechless. Her throat tightened and even tho the rain was pouring down on them her lips were dry. So many emotions were swirling in those beautiful eyes. A hurricane in blue. Then a smirk laced his face and everything changed.

* * *

><p>It took a little while before people started to trust her but once they figured out she wasn't a woman out there to hurt them they welcomed her. Some better then others but they still welcomed her.<p>

The man, Damon, had a brother who was named Stefan and the siblings had a complicated relationship but the love for each other was so visible that it almost made her gag. At first she didn't like Stefan. It didn't took long to figure out she was more like Damon in so many ways then she was like Stefan. But after time and after showing each other they were worth it they became great friends. The person who was the most wary of her had always been a girl with chestnut brown hair and brown orbs. She was beautiful and caring and even tho the girl didn't seem to take a liking in the woman Damon brought with him, the woman always had been fond of the girl. And even the girl, Elena, became to trust her. Soon she was enrolled in the supernatural events of Mystic Falls but she didn't mind because the supernatural never bothered her. How could it when she was supernatural herself?

* * *

><p>Her relationship with Damon was different. They liked to push each others buttons. She would endlessly tease him about his affection towards Elena and he would tease her for her affection towards the blue eyed boy that was a childhood friend of Elena and the only human in their group of friends. What Damon didn't know, was that her affection towards Matt, the blue eyed boy, was caused because of him. Matt's eyes reminded her so much of those of Damon's and she knew Damon was off limits so she took a liking in the young boy. It wasn't love. It wasn't even a crush. It was more admiration then anything else but she never told Damon that. It didn't take long before the teasing turned in to bitter comments and everyone noticed. Even he. So one day he confronted her with it. She had been quick to deny any accusations but she couldn't hide forever behind that carefully placed mask. A sharp dig and a few harsh words later her lips where pressed on his and the whole world stopped moving. At first Damon didn't move and just when she was about to pull back, ashamed of herself, he gripped her shoulders and pulled her in to him. The kiss wasn't gentle or caring, it was full passion and hunger. But that's just who they where. Passion and Hunger where character trades both of them were familiar with.<p>

The teasing changed. He still teased her but it wasn't about Matt anymore because now he knew.

He teased her about him. That relationship started of rocky. He still loved Elena even tho she and him just didn't seem to work. And she was still scared from her past heartbreak. Their relationship was never easy but they learned to adjust. They learned to love each other in their own way.

Damon always pulled her back when she was pulling away and she didn't blame him when she saw him sending loving but lost looks Elena's way. She knew you didn't easily forget the woman you were once in love with. Eventually they settled in to this comfortable thing they had.

The first time the words "I love you" where spoken is a time she would never forget. In their relationship Damon always took the lead. That was just the way it was. But that day she took the lead. She took the range and shined. It were words she couldn't easily speak because she was still so afraid. So scared of the pain that would come when he would leave her for someone else. For Elena.

She didn't show it, she never did. Well, she almost never did. There had been a few dark nights where she was drunk and lovesick in Damon's bed and in someway they always ended talking about their feelings. He usually started about Elena and she would listen patiently. But one of those nights she broke. She had burst in to sobs and Damon had instantly shut his mouth and had cradled her head against his chest and he whispered apologies in her ear. The few drunk, lovesick, nights after that where spend on her telling him about the list of endless fears she had. They never spoke about them in daylight but she knew that things had changed that night. So when Damon popped open a bottle of bourbon once again she stopped him, stood on the tip of her toes and moved her mouth to his ears and whispered the words she was so afraid to say. "I love you." It was a simple statement but it was something so important for both of them. When she looked in to his eyes after she had uttered those words she saw that swirl of emotions once again and just like every time she saw that she was left completely awestruck. But her view got cut off when he closed his eyes, leaned his forehead against hers and whispered. 'I love you to.' And she hadn't have to look in his eyes to know that he meant it.

He took her fears away and she finally allowed herself to live and to love. All because of him.

But then he died. He had to sacrifice himself for the better cause, again. And once again she was left with heartbreak and pain and this time it was so much worse but also so much less worse at the same time. She still could get through the day, she could pretend like nothing happened. But then at night when she drank a whole bottle of bourbon before settling in to bed she bawled her eyes out and this awful hole was eating her alive and it took hours for her tears to dry up and even then she just stared blankly at the ceiling. Reliving the memories of _him_.

* * *

><p>When she found out about Elena's way of dealing with the loss of Damon she was utterly and completely pissed. How dared she mourn over him like that when all she could do was turn him down and cause him so much heartbreak. Of course she wasn't pissed with Elena because she actually had every right to be so upset about the death of Damon. It was just that she couldn't show her emotions. That she wasn't allowed to show those emotions. At first she had ranted and screamed at Elena for using witchy drugs to see Damon again and Elena let her. But when she was finally done screaming, bitter tears were rolling down her cheeks and Elena was looking at her with so much care and love that her anger deflated. And then she offered her a way out. She could let Alaric take her memories away, just like Elena was planning on doing. Elena felt guilty about feeling like this while it was she who had been Damon's girlfriend so she tried everything to make it up. She thought that this idea was a step in the good way.<p>

But a part of her was still holding onto Damon. Still holding onto the fact that Damon possibly could come back. And that's when she realized she wasn't okay. She wasn't okay at all.

She was broken. A shell of who she used to be. But she also knew that it was okay to be broken. It was okay to be a shell of who she used to be. It was okay to feel like this because she lost the love of her life. And he was. The love of her life. So she said no to Elena. The brunette still went on with her plan but that was okay because she understood. She would have done it to if she had the guts. Because living without him? _That_ just wasn't okay.


End file.
